i can't believe i had my finger in that
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
