So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
