Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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