dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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