went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
