I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
