Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
