She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
