i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
