omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
