i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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