the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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