so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
