When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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