I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
