Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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