Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
