She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
