I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
