What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
