I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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