i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
