It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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