to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He shit in the fireplace
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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