She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
