What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she smelled like a LAN party
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
