The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
