I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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