I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
