**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
