im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
