those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it's great music for shaving your balls
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
