yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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