So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
