fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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