Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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