I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
