That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
