Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
