I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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