The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
