I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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