What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
