this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
