I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
