i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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