and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
