Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
