Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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