i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
