Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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