while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
