I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
