Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
